'You can't continue working from home because you go idle in chat too often': Remote worker devises plan to avoid going into the office by tricking their bosses

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Nov 6, 2023 3:00 PM EST

This remote worker despises their office, and they're prepared to go to great lengths to keep their work from home routine. 

Before the dark years of the early 2020s, probably not a lot of people did remote work or even really knew what it was. Remote working was a thing you did while on vacation, but not something you'd do full time. While we all had to huddle at home for months on end, many of us got remote work jobs for the first time. Suddenly, it became an acceptable norm for workers to do all the time. After all, there's lots of evidence that working remotely is great for workers, and boosts productivity at the same time. These days, many people just use a laptop to work, with no need for papers or filing cabinets. Your work goes where you go, and being able to do that work while lounging in sweatpants on your sofa is such a privilege. 

Most remote workers do go into their offices at some point, though, even if it's just a few times a month. But this person really despises their office, and their WFH setup is pretty sweet. They shared their methods for avoiding going idle online, which some commenters applauded, while others gave the OP some criticisms. 

Check out the entire story below, and then read another workplace story. 

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  • 01
    You can't continue working from home because you go idle in chat too often
    via u/ythaf***igetsuspend
  • 02
    As part of the plan to return to office post cvid, my company has done a lot of re-designating of who can permanently work from home, who can hybrid, etc. I really wanted to work from home full time. I hate the office with a burning passion - it's distracting, it's a long commute, there's no benefit to being there, so on and so forth. I'd just rather be at home.
    via u/ythaf***igetsuspend
  • 03
    Well when we thought May was going to be go back to office time they started giving out the new designations. I got designated as in office full time. It made no sense to me. I work on a team of 8 people and each of us is in a different office somewhere in the country. I've literally never been to
    via u/ythaf***igetsuspend
  • 04
    an in person meeting or needed to do in person work in 3 years at this company. Every single other person on my team got designated to work from home. So I brought it up with my boss and asked to work from home. When I started at this company and lived elsewhere I got to work from home for 4 months
    via u/ythaf***igetsuspend
  • 05
    before I moved and the past 14 months during c have been at home, so 18/36 months at the company have been WFH. What I was told is that I go idle too often in chat to trust to work from home.
    via u/ythaf***igetsuspend
  • 06
    Basically we have a company wide IM system that shows you as available, idle, or in a meeting. If you don't touch your keyboard for 5 minutes you show as idle. So they've decided to use this as a measure for who is working and who isn't. The thing is, like many people in many types of jobs, I don't have sto do for a full 8
    via u/ythaf***igetsuspend
  • 07
    hours every single day. The amount of work I have to do on a typical day takes 3-5 hours of actual attention. There simply isn't something to do ALL the time. My performance numbers actually went up working from home, by all objective KPI numbers I'm a better worker at home. In fact, in the KPIs that I don't flat out lead the team in, I come in second. There isn't
    via u/ythaf***igetsuspend
  • 08
    work to do that I'm neglecting or procrastinating, when something comes up I simply do it until it's done or until I can't do anymore due to waiting on someone else then stop. And I've done that method long enough that my work queue stays empty because I worked to get my queue down to the point where when something
    via u/ythaf***igetsuspend
  • 09
    comes up I can immediately address it and be done with it. But because I have other ways to spend my time in down time instead of messing around online at my cube pretending to be working meaning I show idle more often, I'm a worse worker apparently. I was told if it weren't for that they would let me work at home.
    via u/ythaf***igetsuspend
  • 10
    So I wrote a 6 line powershell script that virtually inputs the period key every 4 minutes that starts running every day at 8am and stops at 5pm. So now I literally never go idle. I do the same amount of work and still read books, watch tv, and play video games on the side. But I have a shiny green check next to my name all day.
    via u/ythaf***igetsuspend
  • 11
    Because of c complications they eventually said no going back until after labor day. I just had a meeting with my boss and he said over this time they've noticed I go idle a lot less than I used to so they're changing my designation to work from home, all because of a little icon in some software. This concludes my TED talk on why low to middle level managers are the dumbest, most useless do-nothing positions in all of corporate America
    via u/ythaf***igetsuspend
  • 12
    EDIT: I do not need to be told to buy a mouse jiggler for the 30th time. I'm aware of what they are. This cost me no money and achieves the same thing. Why would I pay to achieve an effect I've already achieved for free? EDIT 2: A lot of people are understandably asking for the script: $dummyshell = New-Object -cc $dummyshell.sendkeys(".")
    via u/ythaf***igetsuspend
  • 13
    That's the backbone of the whole thing. There's different ways to implement it with for loops or scheduled tasks or whatever, that parts up to you, but that's all the powershell needs at it's core to accomplish this. A lot of people have pointed out that sending Insert or F13 instead of period would be better so change that up if you want. To all the people commenting that I'm a s employee and obviously trying to insult me over it: I wish I could make you feel just how little I care. To all the
    via u/ythaf***igetsuspend
  • 14
    morgan423 I think reading about the fact that your company actively and objectively tracks your KPIs and metrics, but instead decided to measure your productivity by your interaction with a chat program made my brain hurt a little. Like I just got punched in the face with a little fist made of pure corporate stupidity.
    via u/morgan423
  • 15
    lameusername11 When I was working from home I'd pull up a blank word doc and set something heavy on the zero key on my keyboard. Never went idle. My job however would put you out of compliance if you didn't do something every 30 seconds. My boss could never figure out why my adherence was better than everyone else's lol
    via u/lameusername11
  • 16
    CoderJoe1 Perfect execution of the process: 1. Discover what metric they are mind-numbingly using as a decision point. It's usually something convenient for them to monitor, not something indicative of true value. 2. Override, hack or prioritize that metric until they deem you successful. 3. CYA as needed.
    via u/CoderJoe1
  • 17
    Misaka9982 Ours doesn't kick in if we have a powerpoint slideshow running. So you can just start a slide show, minimise it and get on with work at your own pace.
    via u/Misaka9982
  • 18
    onetimeonreddit Sounds like you're describing Skype or Teams. Everyone in my office just changed the online status settings to "show me as inactive when my computer has been idle for 360 minutes". Glad it worked out for you in the end but I hope you weren't missing out on this quick fix all along lol
    via u/onetimeonreddit

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tricked boss work from home remote workplace-stories remote work jobs job malicious compliance bosses work coworkers malicious-compliance-reddit Office workplace malicious compliance reddit chat
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